LEARN TO LEAN INTO YOUR DISCOMFORT
Some years back, I was confronted with the decision to forgive a family member. For years prior to that, I had saved the not-so-great memory in some forgotten file in my mind, my way of not perpetuating the feelings of resentment surrounding the circumstances that involved that person.
But sure enough, the day came when I had to face those raw feelings. And there was no retreating. However, the paradox of it was that I felt the urgent need to call them and ask them to forgive me when truthfully, I was the one who had been wronged. But the thought of calling them would not abate until I braced myself and made the most ‘trying’ phone call.
It’s obvious that I cannot accurately describe that process and the well of emotions that rose to the surface then. But as fate would have it, the family member was right there at the other end of the line, and eventually offered his Mea culpa by the end of that dialogue.
What you have to understand is that, the urgency I felt to initiate that conversation came from the fact that, God had already cleared the path, and prepared the other person. God knew that the said family member would have never had the courage to pick up the phone to call me; therefore I had to be the one to do so, and in so doing, give the person that last opportunity...And the person passed away not long after that exchange.
Do you just see the amazing wisdom of God at work here?
Instead of avoiding the ‘negative’ feeling, the best thing to do is to move toward it, into it, and through it. And honestly, I found out that the discomfort I felt was not as bad as I had anticipated it to be. It did not ruin me. It reaped the rewards of inner peace and growth that only my yielding to such a moment of truth could have exposed me to.
Forgiveness is one of the most potent and liberating force. It’s more than therapeutic. It allows us to come face to face with our own humanity- and that of others.
It frees our minds and hearts and releases us to fully embrace present and future experiences without the filter of bad memories. Even what we perceive as bad emotions can serve us well, should we allow them the opportunity to run their full course as they seek to reveal to us the important messages they carry.
I am grateful I have that experience to look back on because now, I can share it with others who need to lean into their discomfort, and through it.
---Shalom to you,
Carole Zebaze


